Breaking the Bad Habit of Being Physical & Emotionally Abusive

Physical and emotional abuse happens to men, women and children worldwide and for any number of reasons. But regardless of the circumstances, place, time and other issues involving the abuse, taking internal pain and anger out on others is a bad habit that needs to be stopped, no matter what gender the abuser is and no matter what age.

To help stop abuse there are plenty of 12-step programs available for both abusers and co-dependent people in relationships with them who get caught up in their cycles of physical and emotionally harm. Contact your local authorities for help immediately, especially if you or any elderly, handicapped and / or children are in any danger. And work with them and your healthcare provider to get help for you and your family with counseling, therapy, and possible mediations, etc.

And for more help, here are some tips:

Get a Grip

Both abusers and victims need to get a reality grip. No one is a punching bad. And hurting people is illegal, regardless of whether or not they are blood relatives, friends or anyone. It is illegal to intentionally harm others, and repeated abuse is intentional; it's no accident.

To abusers: get help to break your abusive cycle. And in the meantime, journal out your strong emotions and line up 'things' to abuse instead of people, like punching bags, pillows, a pile of blankets, etc. (things that will not harm you, either, when you punch them, unlike glass objects that could cut you.) When things trigger your anger, leave the scene – with one of your anger-release tools (a pillow is easy to grab) and your journal. Punch your pillow as needed to release pent up anger and hostility, calm down by taking deep breaths and cooling off with a cold drink or ice cream, then write out what triggered such fierce emotions, and how you could help overcome these in the future (like avoid conversations with hot topics or people when they irritate you, etc).

To victims: likewise get help to stop being co-dependent and a blanket for receiving abuse. You need to break the cycle on your end, too. Journaling will also help, as you journal why you feel like jumping into battles and staying in them and your progress to recovery.

Help and Support

Both abusers and victims need to continue to get treatment to heal, plus support systems in place for new healthy friendships, encouragement along new paths and replacing old bad abusive relationship habits with new healthier habits like journaling and going out on a walk to cool off with a cold soda.

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